Fulshear Family
Law Attorney

Narcissists know how to take advantage of their spouses financially. You might be paying for everything because they can’t keep a job, or you might make a good wage but not benefit from it. Your spouse might spend a lot of money on themselves without considering you or your future together.

When you were first together, they made you feel like the most important person in the world, but as time went on, things changed. They might ignore or devalue you now, where they didn’t before, which may mean that how they were at the beginning of the relationship was not the true them. They made grand gestures at the beginning to get you hooked, but once you were, those gestures went away.

Someone with NPD is usually a flirt and may have even cheated on you. They are very charming and know how to sweep people off their feet. They might also make you feel jealous by flirting with people.

Despite the fact that your spouse is charming, there might be some people who see through it. You may have had people tell you they don’t like how your spouse treats you.

You may feel like you can’t rely on your partner, as they make promises and won’t keep them unless it’s convenient. You may feel like if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Your spouse might be incredibly charming, and people like them. However, it is only because they are good at hiding their true selves when they are around other people. They say the right things, the things that may have also fooled you at the beginning of your relationship.

If you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells because you can’t predict what mood your partner will be in, then this is one of the signs you’re married to a narcissist. One minute things seem ok, then suddenly they are in a rage. Even something small like someone else being recognized for an accomplishment might make them feel angry. You could feel like you’ve lost part of yourself because your decisions are now based on what will keep your spouse happy.

You may feel like every conversation is an argument, even when you try to stay calm and avoid getting upset by what they say. They will know how to push your buttons and get you to react. Controlling others emotionally gives them a sense of satisfaction. Often it is easy to simply avoid the conversation completely, rather than deal with the mind games.

Your spouse gives you the silent treatment to control you. They may withhold affection or ignore you until they get what they want. Silent treatment should not be part of a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship.

If you are married to a narcissist you may have feelings of inadequacy. Your spouse might make negative comments about you or put you down. You may feel that you have lost touch with things you used to do because you just don’t have time for them. Perhaps you are feeling fatigued or down. You may find yourself lying or hiding things from your friends or family because you feel ashamed about things your spouse does or doesn’t do.

A narcissist is usually a selfish person and they will only consider their own needs, and not you or your relationship together. Their only concern is how things affect them. For example, they might expect you to pick up after them, or they may want to have sex when they want to but not when you do. They could also favor certain children if that child makes them look better in social situations.

Their inflated ego will not allow them to handle criticism and they may become very defensive even with the slightest criticism. If you do make a comment, they might find a way to twist it. For example, if you make a comment about them not taking the trash out, they might make you feel like you are attacking them personally.

A narcissist partner will be critical of you. They might make comments about your appearance or clothes, or make fun of you and put you down. They may also make fun of others, especially people they consider lesser, i.e because they have less money or are less attractive. In general, they will be very critical of people.

Gaslighting is where someone denies things you know to be true. This is an emotionally abusive tactic that is a common trait of narcissistic partners. They may tell you that you just “don’t remember correctly” when you know something happened. They will make you believe things didn’t happen the way you thought, or that they happened because of you. They might tell lies about your behavior and twist reality so it fits their version. You might second guess yourself and feel like you’re going crazy. Your partner might even do this in front of friends and family members so that people begin to believe that the problem is with you.

Narcissists believe everything is always someone else’s fault, even if they are in the wrong. It will be difficult to get an apology from them, partially because they don’t consider other people to be on the same level as them. Taking responsibility for their actions will be incredibly difficult, and they will blame you for anything that goes wrong. If something goes wrong in their life, then it will somehow be because of you. This may leave you feeling like you can’t do anything right.

While your partner may have been incredibly charming at the beginning of your relationship, you may now feel isolated. While they may have been eager to move forward in your relationship quickly, they have never actually asked about your plans for the future or how you can build the life you want together. Someone with NPD will constantly brag about themselves, and may not show interest in things going on in their life. Their source of happiness may lie in external things such as money, and prestige at work and their true capability for romantic love may be limited.

Manipulation is one of the key traits of someone with NPD. They may make subtle threats throughout the relationship, or you may simply get a sense that you need to do what they want you to do. It may feel easier to do what they want you to do, even if you don’t really agree with it. Narcissists have subtle ways of manipulating people to get what they want. People in this kind of relationship often forget what life was like before the manipulation started.

One of the most obvious traits of a narcissist is that they have an inflated view of themselves and are very self-absorbed. They may believe that no one is as smart, funny, or engaging as them.